Miscellany and detritus, from the writer of Is This Mutton?com

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2009年5月31日星期日

对可怜的苏珊来说,生活将永远不一样


当《贫民窟的百万富翁》接近尾声时,我们坐在一个相当震惊的沉默中,就像你在一部精彩电影的结尾所做的那样,我意识到我们可能会赶上《英国没有天赋》的最后15分钟。

We hardly watched any of it except for 30 mins earlier in the week when we wanted to see what all the fuss was about with Susan Boyle. She must have been very nervous because her voice was tremulous and lacked control for half of the song but then she pulled it together.

无论如何,我在这篇简短的30分钟抢夺中没有看到多样性,所以我惊讶地看到一群舞者殴打苏珊。这些男孩们对他们的胜利感到兴奋,而且它会如何改变自己的生活,但我觉得,遗憾的是,他们的名声时刻将是皇家品种的性能,然后在各种码头上显示客人出场。我无法想象西蒙威尔群岛将在一群男舞者的前景下用Glee揉搓手。

当然,他将在苏珊博伊尔的前景摩擦他的手。他的工作已经完成了一半,因为她已经是一个全球性现象。我希望他和他的人民已经映射了他们对她的对象,以及她的职业生涯的持续时间。也许一张专辑,一场现场旅游?然后像热砖一样掉下来。

苏珊似乎在电视上,但一个自信快乐的人reality, as presented in various tabloids last week, is that she is vulnerable and coping badly with this sudden fame. Four letter outbursts and the police being called was one lurid story. I hope she has good people guiding her because fame the Cowell way is often fleeting and contracts are probably very unfair to the naive performer.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

不能为诗人而行动

I've always claimed to enjoy poetry but if the truth is told, my knowledge is fairly sketchy and concentrated mainly on those we studied at school - Larkin was the highlight - and a few others including Ted Hughes, Sylvia Plath, Wilfred Owen, John Masefield and Paul Durcan.

所以,令人震惊的差距(对不起布什Mrs),我当然不会让Faber&Faber富裕。巧合,在学习BBC的诗歌季节,似乎突然诗人都在我们身边,引用湿湿湿。在一个问题中,克里斯伍德·伍德德提到了他最喜欢的诗人杰弗里山。Alice Oswald被审查了。Carol Ann Duffy成为Laureate的诗人。那里有一个苏塞拉诗人,诗人79岁。

I was ashamed not to know any of those poets, not even Carol Ann, so I have requests flying out on Read It Swap It and I've been perusing Ebay. I've discovered dozens of poetry websites- whatever would we do without the internet!诗猎人前500首诗,前十是相当baffli吗ng, including a Roger McGough (brother of Lily the Pink?) and a Roald Dahl, and topped by Maya Angelou.

On the subject of the BBC's Poetry Season, there was a programme where children recited poems, won by an Iranian born boy for whom English is a swcond language. Heart warming indeed. But I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to Masefield's Sea Fever ever again. I will always remember the theatrical arm movements and earnest gurning of some of the competitors. "I MUST go down to the seas again".....
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2009年5月25日星期一

Bank holiday mixed fortunes

这是混合的财富,而不是混合的幻想,一个La Blenda Blethyn。对于J这是一个非常愉快的周末。他在纪录的时间里跑了哈特菲尔德橡树10k,并相信他变老,他得到的速度越快。所以每个人都希望。

It was a good weekend too for the cat. She managed to bag both a mouse and a bird yesterday, although I was a bit distraught to find the blue tit still in its death throes. Both were carefully parcelled up and removed (by me).

对我来说,这是一个不错的周末:我确实设法让J去了一家地毯店,而且,由于我通常在购物时很快下定决心,所以他没有时间大发雷霆。

But there was also a lot of toil involved: tidying, ironing, shopping, hoovering. Buying and planting some goodies for the garden. Clearing out the spare room. Trying to find homes for everything that was in the spare room, without the house looking like Steptoe's Yard.

为了他的信用,J确实在昨天在备用房间安装了电源插座。现在他在“研究阶段天堂”,是一个男人的最珍贵的存在状态。这是他们已经获得了进入的研究,获得了新的电器,并且意味着他可以在恳切和看所有评论中开始向网络冲浪。这希望保持他如此全神贯注,我可以在没有战斗的情况下观看春天。
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2009年5月20日,星期三

为爱尔兰受虐儿童伸张正义

It's a terrible, depressing story: endemic sexual abuse across boys' institutions in Ireland. Girls supervised by orders of nuns, chiefly the Sisters of Mercy, suffered much less sexual abuse but frequent assaults and humiliation designed to make them feel worthless.

The enquiry has taken nine years to complete and it's probably too late to bring to justice a lot of the perpetrators.

But let's not forget that these vile inhuman people claimed to be Catholics, so under their own system of beliefs, those who sin burn forever in Hell.

I wonder if they thought about that at the time?
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Saturday, May 16, 2009

卡罗尔·麦吉芬's bare bottom


The traffic stats for this blog make amusing reading in terms of the search words that sometimes bring visitors here.

一些可怜的Schmuck在一个有希望的寻找McGiffin的裸露底部抵达。我曾经写过她如何制作一位伟大的晚宴客人。似乎她对男性有诱人的影响。“卡罗尔麦克菲文裸体”的许多寻求者也找到了这些页面。

我最近在分享一些搜索词的秘密比尔·布朗特on the tags that really pull in the visitors. Real crowd pleasers. For me it's Elizabeth Hurley's Indian wedding and John Torode. Check out Bill's blog where he shamelessly featured both of them in a most amusing post.

Torode doesn't seem to have a website of his own so hapless searchers find themselves looking at my scathing review of his restaurant, Smiths at Smithfield. As for Hurley, I remember writing about the overkill nature of her nuptials but wasn't expecting it to be such a rich source of page views. My prediction for Hurley is that she and Arun will probably not be together this time next year. Then I shall write about Liz Hurley's Indian divorce.

As for Torode, he was eclipsed somewhat on the recent Masterchef "professional cooks" variation where Michel Roux Jnr joined the "ingredients expert" (grocer) Gregg Wallace. Torode does a good line in smacking his chops and nodding but Roux was more knowledgeable about the technicalities. So I predict Torode may be spending more time in the kitchen.

Other search words that continue to deliver are: Sharon Maiden (who featured in the seminal comedy "Clockwise," and is often Googled by people who've seen the film and wonder what happened to her); single men with cats (as if it's a nasty illness), bottle stalls, and the world's largest horse circa 1968. Whose name still escapes me. If only I could get the answer.

It's a bit depressing really. Hardly Goethe is it? For eternity my blog ramblings will be posted, espousing on such superficialities as the Eurovision song contest, single men with cats and conundrums like why do teapots always leak. Actually I've never written on the latter but it does trouble me, so perhaps this is my next topic de jour.
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Thursday, May 14, 2009

欧洲豪华哈欠


在我不知疲倦地保留了一个博客的3年里,我被称为欧洲歌曲比赛的专家。一个博主勇气足以挑战投票系统并宣布每年的英国入境垃圾。

因此,我对2009年的奢侈行为的沉默让我的读者大吃一惊。事实上,我哥哥愤怒地给我发短信说他错过了第一场半决赛,因为我没有在博客上告诉他。

说实话,我会在星期六错过最后的决赛,所以我已经在整个事情上冷却了土耳其。我今晚不会看第二个半半,我错过了第一个。

就我们的机会而言,好吧,这首歌是一首挽歌,由一个尖叫者演唱,但至少它是由一个著名的人写的,所以东欧人不会嘲笑它。我想玉羊(如图)正在欧洲巡演,以增加我们的机会。另外,投票方式也有所改变,因此各国将有专门小组,以重回过去的美好时光,但仍将进行电话投票,以便资金源源不断地涌入。让我们面对现实吧,英国电信需要收入。

Anyway, let me share this nugget from the first semi-final. The following countries are through!
Turkey
Sweden
以色列
Portugal
马耳他
Finland
波斯尼亚和黑塞哥维那
Romania
亚美尼亚
冰岛

不幸的是,这是比利时出来的。对不起Kurt和Nicky。当然,我们,德国,法国和西班牙自动通过,因为我们支付该死的东西。荷兰今晚的功能。愿最好的肮脏赢。
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2009年5月10日星期日

雷尼奖

他们常说“这就是生活!,我indebted to Melissa atSmitten by Britain感谢你授予我一个新的博客奖,蕾妮奖。它是由Bellain Japan in memory of her friend Renee and is intended to "honour someone who is incredibly inspirational in her intelligent and witty writing."

好吧,我会把棒棒发给Maddie Grigg我窗外的世界,在农村多西特的生活与机智和popache。Maddie和我一起训练了另一个生命中的记者,我们在下周末彼此见到了七年的第一次。毫无疑问,在厕所外面的房子里,我们常常对普利茅斯分享的房子有很大的回忆,而且在下雪时没有太多的乐趣,橱柜里的好奇淋浴。

我还将奖励雷尼给我的朋友露西山上错误一侧的思想和忧虑。Lucy writes in a mouth drooling way about restaurants and food - and thanks to her I discovered the wonderful restaurant Caldesi in Campagna (Bray) which knocks spots off The Fat Duck, also in the same location.
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我栖息在射击棍子上


I'm in the forest sitting on a shooting stick (surprisingly comfortable) with a monopod between my legs, waiting for the runners to come by. Perfect weather for the Orion Harriers Summer Handicap, a five mile run. J actually won this two years ago and it was a proud moment when he collected the cup at the prize giving event.

但今年他在另一场比赛中做得太好(第三个),所以他的差点减少了。我建议他在所有其他比赛中都是垃圾,所以他得到了最好的障碍。他五分之一的时候,他走过我,有一英里去,所以无论如何都很好。

我不知道J会如何评价我在镜头下的表现,通常是他不跑的时候他的角色。我觉得有些照片很不错,但他很阴沉地咕哝着说我是如何把自己定位在马粪附近的,他不得不把每张照片都编辑掉。有些跑步者没有对焦(对不起,安),但我把这归咎于摄像机。更多照片这里.

像往常一样,最后J转向我说:“他们是一群好人,不是吗?“你应该加入,”这是他永恒的请求,但有一个缺点:我必须逃跑。有人说我跑起来像小提姆(踮着脚尖),这很可能像六月的暴风雪。
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2009年5月9日,星期六

Silly Commuting - a guide for beginners



我昨晚提到了J昨晚,我会博客关于骑自行车的喜剧,他和周期到工人(男性)转到非凡的长度,以互相超越。

他坚持认为,他不应该成为我博客中的一个乐趣的形象,但我坚持说明他有权在评论部分回复。

j沉迷于他的骑自行车,最近利用他的周期到工作购买计划凭证,购买他梦中的混合自行车,一个cannonsdale坏男孩。这项决定是在坏男孩和董事会之间摇动的几周内,并简要介绍另一个品牌,当时推销员告诉J这是一个“坐起来并乞求自行车,他应该看着“。

Equipped with his new bike J has since purchased some strange and to my mind lethal shoes which attach themselves to the pedals. When he stops, he has to release his feet from the pedals. Some weird sunglasses arrived today. Then there is the fancy gold standard lock, the helmet with a prism mirror that enables him to see who's approaching from behind; shorts with what looks like a nappy in the bottom, and a whole raft of fluorescent bits and pieces, water bottles and ruc sacks of various sizes that he carries his work shirt in.

显然,在骑自行车的世界中,骑自行车者穿衣服的方式有一个已知的喜剧度,骑自行车者穿着的方式,他们的腿是多么毛茸茸的毛茸茸,他们的年龄和他们的骑自行车的方式。它被称为Silly Commuting Racingand you can check it out here. The whole purpose is basically "to attract birds." J describes himself as an 8 and sometimes comes home cock-a-hoop having raced a 2 ("a roadie with shaved legs") and emerged the victor.

当他昨晚在国王的脑海中煞费苦心地解释了这种非正式挑战的规则。你不能沿着人行道(对我们的行人解脱),你不能将红绿灯用作更快地拉走的借口。非常重要,你不应该展示任何痛苦(无论如何你的脸都看起来那样。)

Apparently it doesn't apply to women cyclists unless a) they have hairy legs and b) they're Nicole Cook.

I'm glad to see Gordon Brown is worrying about the cyclists on our roads, but it seems they have a kamikaze streak in their DNA. It's always a relief to me when I hear the ping of J's bell as he signals his arrival when he gets home at night.
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Monday, May 04, 2009

读者:你买书花了一大笔钱吗?

I read all the time. I even carry a "spare" paperback with me to ward off the nightmare situation of being in any sort of delay with no reading matter. At night while J watches Sharpe endlessly, I read.

我不仅读了很多书,而且读得很快。人们对此持怀疑态度,但我坚决反对,如果我们在这一主题上都参加了普通中等教育证书,我会和那些花数周时间读完一本书的懒汉一样出色。

我研究报纸上的评论,有时会根据我读到的东西来订购一本书,而没有看过有问题的书。这常常适用于我必须要的精装本,最近的一本是《南北战争时期的书》和《爱德华时代的房子》、《湿地》(迫不及待地想要平装本)和《工作的快乐与悲伤》。

所有这些阅读的麻烦在于它是一个昂贵的爱好。不过,让我来分享一下我的三个建议,那就是在不花一大笔钱的情况下获得书籍和减少你的欧盟书山。

1. Swap your books. I do this informally via colleagues at work. I hit a rich seam in Nicky but unfortunately she's in Belgium and our travel restrictions mean that we rarely see each other now. I have a huge pile of her books to return. I also use读它交换它,一个优秀的英国交换网站。

我现在在那里是一个“超级交换者”,交换了100本书。我不保留我的书籍列表一直激活 - 只有当我想要特定的书或我开始我的假期堆时才会激活。为期两周的假期,我需要一天的书,除非是一本巨大的书,所以我开始收集书籍并准备好堆积它们。

我不能忍受看起来破旧或拇指的书籍,所以我只选择换档,其中书被描述为“像新的”或良好的条件,没有损坏。我曾经去过一本被描述为“可接受”的书,它非常令人作呕,它直接在垃圾箱里挺直。

在那里放一本热门的新书,看看你开始的喂食狂热。然后是非常挑剔的是你想要的书 - 你有很多选择。

如果有一个你想要的书,它只是在平装或机场版中出来,把它添加到你的愿望清单中,然后你会在有人交换时收到通知。

确保获得非常好的质量包装用品。我最近买了一些削减价格棕色纸和胶带,我的一本书在运输过程中受损。因为他们的边缘刺穿棕色纸张,我总是在全面使用泡沫包装。

在读它交换它,确保你与交换者沟通,如果你要迟到。人们可能会对此感到非常不安,并给出糟糕的评级。我听了几句“哦,不!”当我意识到我不再有一本我刚刚同意交换的书,但我发现如果你很快联系并提供另一本书,人们就会满意。

2把你的书卖掉。我用亚马逊卖纯正的硬皮书。很多时候,读一次书对我来说就足够了。我不需要留着它。所以我在亚马逊上卖。这是一个非常简单的过程,你会惊讶于某些书的价格。

三。把他们送出去。我喜欢图书穿越的想法,在公共交通工具上和咖啡馆里,你可以把书放在那里,跟踪他们的进度,但我觉得买标签和登记图书有点烦人。相反,我只是带他们去慈善商店,虽然他们中的一些人不喜欢买书,所以你必须确保你选择了正确的一本。

我意识到这是第四个选项去图书馆,但在我曾经这样做的时候,我从未加入本地图书馆。当他们坚持三种形式的身份证明时,我被推迟了。我拍了我的驾驶执照和护照,不敢相信他们也想看到一个公用事业账单。但我的妈妈是一个狂热的图书馆成人,当我在那里参观时,她为我累积自己的堆。
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2009年5月3日星期日

克利夫斯安妮需要修正主义


I have long been fascinated by Henry VIII's fourth wife, Anne (or more correctly, Anna) of Cleves. The famous Holbein portrait, which captivated the fat middle-aged king, hangs in my dining room much to J's chagrin.

Most people know the story: enthralled by the portrait, Henry agreed to marry Anna, a German princess, without ever having seen her. She came over to England in a long journey, was rapturously received by the public, and then rejected by Henry for being ugly, smelly and dull witted, as told by various historians.

我一直在想安娜留在英国,有几座宫殿,继续和亨利共进晚餐。在那个充满政治诡计和阴谋的时代,她一定有很好的机智和外交技巧。

当亨利突然离婚时,她没有送回家,但他的“姐姐”给予了豪华的家园,包括Hever,属于她的前任Ann Boleyn。她确保在离婚后送他一个甜蜜的笔记,她确保了亨利犯了一个甜蜜的笔记,这让他觉得她觉得她真的爱他。

Anna became an expert cook and gardener, befriending Henry's two daughters Mary and Elizabeth. She even graciously received Katherine Howard, the foolish teenage girl who followed her, and became a confidante and friend of Henry.

她被安葬在威斯敏斯特大教堂里,没有被藏起来,因为这是一位女王。她和阿拉贡的凯瑟琳一道留下来,她是亨利王朝唯一一位英国人喜爱的王后。

所以我很高兴看到我最喜欢的作家Mavis Cheek的一本书,他探讨了安娜的生命,并且由大多数令人厌恶的人在她身上提供了不公正的
男性历史学家,其中一位给她起了“佛兰德斯母马”的描述。

As Cheek recounts in the novel Amenable Women, partly spoken by Anna, she had been very positively described and received by dozens of courtiers and ambassadors before she was rejected by Henry. She very quickly learnt English and some of the skills needed at court as she travelled over to England. She was equally as repulsed by Henry as he appears to have been by her. He was vastly obese by this stage and had a suppurating leg. A far cry from the Henry served up by Jonathan Rhys Meyers in The Tudors.

The Holbein portrait of Anna is one of the most marvellous pictures, full of hidden language and signs. It is far more evocative to me than the portrait of the Mona Lisa which only draws our eye because she is missing her eyebrows.

我希望未来的历史学家能够在克利夫斯的安娜担心的情况下开始得到这个故事。她是伟大的幸存者,虽然虽然令人不满,但是继续赢得许多人的心脏。遗憾的是,她在40岁时去世,但正如奇克的小说解释所说,她曾经担任过40年代伊丽莎白的老年人40年。一个精彩的阅读。
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2009年5月1日星期五

分配中的哗然

如果您认为Facebook和Twitter是当前的大事,那么您又遗憾地误。似乎园艺,分配,蜜蜂保持和鸡都是臀部和发生的。我已经忘记了已经提到他们沉迷于上述一个或多个的人数。我会喜欢那些可爱的小egloos之一,但是莫莉(掌控)也是如此。蜜蜂保持将成为我的退休消遣。让我们希望蜜蜂不会灭绝。

园艺确实让我感到高兴,而且更确切地说,购买植物和容器以及结果的拍摄。挖掘和杂草的吸引力不那么吸引力,害虫控制(喷涂,拆除拆除等)。我的gran用来用一双剪刀将slups剪掉一半,但我太狡猾了。我想说我使用线虫,但你不能击败一部很多少量的颗粒。

随着园艺变得如此时尚,自然有很多势利。显然很多老守卫,谁在Snapdragons就足够的时候使用拉丁语名字,关于园丁世界的新格式的武器,在那里我们现在展示了如何播种种子并创造出床,而且喘气,甚至有Gnomes上的一个功能。

My solution is very simple. Keep Gardener's World the way it's always been, for the serious gardeners, and branch out with some new gardening progammes for novices. There will be more of us growing vegetables, so why not get in early?
我的投票是带回查理Dimmock。我们最近还没有看到她的几乎足够了。虽然,查理。我们不需要汤米沃尔什,甲板或水分。一些蔬菜,一些凸起的床以及如何种植蓝莓和Goji浆果会非常吸引人。也许是一个或两个侏儒。
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